We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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