just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
