If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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