3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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