Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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