STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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