I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
