dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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