She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
