didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
