yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
