At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
