The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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