just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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