do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
