Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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