You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
