11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
