3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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