At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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