if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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