It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
