Kiss
Puke
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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