WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
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