dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you didnt know i had herpes?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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