you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
