Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
