i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Of course I have a pirate flag
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
