Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
As shirtless as possible
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
