I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
