So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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