I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He passed out mid-signature
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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