I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
