Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
