I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Randomize