no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
