I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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