My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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