fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
