i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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