i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
