i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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