i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
