We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
