Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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