he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
