Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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