i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Can vaginas get frostbite?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
