I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
