How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
