i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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