I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
