remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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