quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
