Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
