she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize