my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
