I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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