can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
