singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
