god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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