Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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