what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
